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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24228706">Fake ID</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagpieCrimes/pseuds/ConfessionForAnotherTime'>ConfessionForAnotherTime (MagpieCrimes)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Red vs. Blue</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Kai is forward as hell, Kai's amazing Bisexuality, Public Sex, Underage Drinking, York is Stupid as Fuck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:33:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,036</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24228706</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagpieCrimes/pseuds/ConfessionForAnotherTime</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Fuck. Yeah.” Kaikaina slapped down her ID in front of Nasira. “Check this shit out.” </p><p>Nasira picked up the ID, squinting and bringing it close to her face. She held it back, and shook her head. </p><p>“Kai, sweetie, I say this because I love you, but I don’t think any bar is going to take an ID that is clearly that fucking fake. You can’t even read your name on it. Also Boner street? Are you 12?” Nasira handed the ID back to her. “I just don’t think that’s going to fly at all.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kaikaina Grif | Sister/Agent York</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Red vs. Blue Rare Pair Week</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Fake ID</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Fuck. Yeah.” Kaikaina slapped down her ID in front of Nasira. “Check this shit out.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nasira picked up the ID, squinting and bringing it close to her face. She held it back, and shook her head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kai, sweetie, I say this because I love you, but I don’t think any bar is going to take an ID that is clearly that fucking fake. You can’t even read your name on it. Also Boner street? Are you 12?” Nasira handed the ID back to her. “I just don’t think that’s going to fly at all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, the lady I paid to make this says that most of the interstellar places barely even card so all I gotta do is use it while I’m on my trip to go find my brother. So, I just gotta find a ship to take me to whatever bumfuck planet he landed on and bam! I’m golden. And! I can get drunk as shit on the way.” Kai winked at her, sliding closer to her. “Wanna go and keep me company? I can make it worth your time.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not a chance. Mom would shit a fucking brick if I left. And you know why I can’t.” Nasira looked down, picking up her can of Coke and knocking it softly against Kai’s and taking a drink. “But, I will cover for you if anyone asks. Is that good enough?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kai nodded, leaning in to kiss her. “Sure is babe. Just don’t forget me, okay? And if you bang anyone hot, write it down so you can tell me about it when I get back, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Nasira said, leaning her head in to press their foreheads together. “Just don’t forget about me on your space adventure to find Dex.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Six months, two wrong turns, and a pineapple later, Kaikaina found herself enrolled in the UNSC and in possession of a pelican, thanks to her own sticky fingers, quick reflexes, and means of distraction. She had landed on Reach and pulled up the list of cities with active military presences. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“New Alexandria, huh?” She scrolled through the list of places, stopping when Club Errera stood out among the rest. “Ha, there.” She set her coordinates toward the docking bay not far from the club. The chilly November air did not suit her, but sacrifices had to be made when she was heading clubbing after a six month long trip. Having just turned eighteen a few months before she left, she wasn’t entirely surprised by the UNSC rushing her through the process in hopes of finally bringing an end to the Human-Covenant war. Little did they know that this was a rescue mission for her, and also an excuse to party. Kai pulled on her fishnets, and slipped her feet into some heels that she had packed away in one of the spare lockers she had picked up to take with her. She zipped her tits into the corset style top, and went with a skirt over a pair of pants. That was the price she paid for putting her shoes on first. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Several minutes later, she had winged eyeliner and lipstick so flawless no one would be able to tell her it wasn’t, coupled with an outfit enough to make anyone jealous. The dark grey skirt looked wonderful with the lighter grey top, and the shading of grey eyeliner on her eyes shadowed them perfectly. The pale grey lipstick she picked out also matched her top. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There we go.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kai hailed a taxi to take her over to the club and the driver looked at her curiously as she swiped her card through the reader to pay for her trip. He had an idea she knew that the hot pink eye shadow did not match her bright purple skirt or her blindingly yellow top, but he shrugged and wished her farewell as she left a sizable tip for him and made her way toward the club. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bouncer looked her up and down, leaning over to the other guy at the front of the bar also checking IDs with him when she handed hers over. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kaikaina Gruf?” he asked as a question, raising an eyebrow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s me!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Says here you’re twenty three?” he continued, in no way believing that she was twenty three. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you were born in what year?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaikaina froze for a second, rolling her eyes playfully. “2528. Duh.” The bouncer narrowed his eyes at her, unable to tell if the number on her ID was an eight or a nine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh huh.” He gave her another once over and let her in, with her bee lining to the bar. The bartender raised an eye. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d like a beer please!” She slid over her card with her ID, beaming at the bartender.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, if you’re going to pass off an obvious fake ID off as your own, the least you could do was check the local laws on drinking before you head over there.” The bartender uncapped a beer for her, and slid Kai’s card through the machine. “Keep the tab open?” she asked, and Kai nodded, reaching for the beer. “Because if you had bothered to look up the liquor laws here, you would know they are far more relaxed than most places on Earth. Reach isn’t so uptight.” She slid Kai her ID and card back. Kai took a drink, steeling her face at the sour taste. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Got it. So it’s what? Eighteen?” she asked, chugging half the beer in one go to make it go away quicker. “Yo, so do you got something that doesn’t taste like ass?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bartender laughed. “That’s the spirit.” She turned and mixed up something pretty and blue and floated a small green umbrella into it. “There. Green and blue. It matches your outfit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh? It looks grey. Whatever. Must be the lights.” Kai grabbed the drink and headed over to one of the booths, kicking her heels back and enjoying herself. The amount of people in this place was not what she expected with the amount of positive reviews posted all over the local yelp page. A grey haired waitress came over halfway through Kai’s drink, batting her eyes prettily and taking a seat opposite to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would you like another of those?” she asked, voice warm and inviting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Another would be lovely. Just like you.” Kai winked at her and the waitress giggled and stood back up, sashaying her way over to the bar to put in the order for her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kai continued like that for a good hour, with the waitress spending more time with her than not due to the otherwise lack of customers. Kai nodded over to the group of guys who just walked in, all looking otherwise comfortable in the calm environment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Finally, some other people,” she sighed, looking over to the waitress she spent the better part of the hour flirting with. “Is it always this dead in here?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is when you show up before happy hour. But hey, you’re cute.” She got up and made her way over to what felt like the regulars, bringing over a couple of beers the bartender had already put up onto the bar to take over to their table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kai spotted her opportunity when one of the guys got up and made his way over to the jukebox in the corner, giving her a clear opportunity to talk to at least one of them. She slid up on his left side, and seemingly startled him, which she would later put together from the light jagged line running across his eye and down the side of his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Heya,” Kai said coolly, nodding to him. He jumped, almost dropping his beer in the process. He did drop his card and she bent down to get it for him. “Ha, dropped this.” Kai held the card back out to him, pulling it back when he scared her in return. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jesus! What the hell?” he damn near shouted at her startling him, breathing heavily for a few moments and holding his hand out. She brought the card up to her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“James? I mean, you look like a frat boy.” Kai extended her hand again, and he took the card from her, then brought her drink to her mouth, sucking some more of it down. “So, you and your friends? You come here often?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He raised an eyebrow at this strangely dressed teenager, going about the even stranger activity of trying to make small talk with him. “Something like that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Awesome. So you know some cool places to go around here.” Kai’s face lit up and she bounced a little on her heels, her drink barely leaving her mouth between words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, sweetie, I don’t know what you’re playing at but I’m here to meet someone.” He took a step back, selected a song and started to make his way back to his table of friends when she caught him by the hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aww, you don’t wanna help me find someone new in this town I barely know when I’m gonna be gone tomorrow? Come on.” He looked between his friends and her, with two of the blondes at his table giving him a thumbs up and the other bald guy shaking his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah okay. I’m not known for my good decisions.” He followed her back to her booth, blowing a kiss to the booth of guys she had just stolen him from. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Perfect! Neither am I.” Kai slid into the booth, patting the worn leather for him to sit next to her. “So, you and your friends: do you come here often?” The waitress brought over her next drink, with a slight bubble to it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Careful with that. It has some dry ice in it for fun.” The drink bubbled, giving off wisps of smoke. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That looks fucking cool!” Kai pointed to the drink, then back at the man she had lured over. “Isn’t that cool?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, yeah. Look, you seem nice and all but I am waiting for someone. She should be here any minute.” He rubbed the back of his head, starting to slide away already. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah yeah, you mentioned that. But what kind of woman has her guy friends go to the bar ahead of her. If she didn’t want someone else talking with you, then she would have come with you to make sure that you were only there for her attention. Or that you only paid attention to her. Look, it comes down to attention and I got yours so you should pay attention to me.” She settled her chin on her hand, watching him shift back to where he was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess. You don’t really stop do you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not especially, no.” She slurped her drink loudly, looking up at him. “And you don’t know how to take a hint when someone thinks you’re hot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I got that part. Like I said. I’m waiting for someone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kai scooted closer to him on the booth seat, almost making her way into his lap. Her hand ran along his inner thigh and in the span of half a second, she watched four emotions -- surprise, arousal, fear, and guilt-- pass across his face without even registering. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh man, you’re even cuter when you think you’re going to get caught.” Kai pushed the table back a little, slipping her way onto his lap, facing him and brushing her lips along his neck. “But hey, you even said you’re waiting. So how about we have some fun in the mean time. From the sounds of it, you don’t get a whole lot of pussy thrown your way with your friend cock blocking you like this.” Her lips closed on his earlobe, tugging on it softly and drawing the smallest of gasps out of him. She could feel his fingertips on her hips, daring to touch her when she had already started it. “You know it’s okay to touch me. So touch me.” Kai ground her hips into his, pushing her cunt against his khaki shorts so he could feel her heat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jesus Christ, I’m in so much trouble,” he gasped out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t even know the half of it.” Kai tilted his chin up, licking her lips and kissed him, pressing herself against his chest. She heard a whoop from far off, and opened one eye to see two of his friends cheering him on. Kai gave them a thumbs up, settling her arms around the back of his neck. He settled his hands on her hips like she told him to. When she finally pulled away, he was gasping, his lips red. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t even know your name,” he said as he reached up to brush her hair behind her ear, his eyes slipping shut when she brought her hips down against his lap. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s Kai,” she said sweetly against his neck, keeping an eye out on the doorway in case his “friend” came in. “And your James.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“York,” he said gruffly, his hands pressing her hips down further as he pushed up against her rocking down. “My friends call me York.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s stupid,” she replied, laving her tongue against his neck and sucking softly on the wet skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think you’ve met my friends. We’re all pretty stupid.” His breath came out in stuttered gasps following his words, biting his lip the more contact he continued with her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I’d believe that. You said you weren’t known for your good decisions.” She snorted, grazing her teeth against the side of his neck. “How mad would your girlfriend be if she came in and you had a fresh hickie?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>York’s mouth fell open with a gasp, his chest pressing against where her hands had slipped to brush his nipples through his shirt. “She’d be mad, but…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But?” Kai asked to draw it out of him. “You can’t even think of anything, can you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>York shook his head and leaned up, lacing his fingers through her wild hair. “Nope.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Awesome,” she gasped out, still grinding her hips against his. “See, I have an idea, but it means you gotta be discrete.” Kai slid off his lap, sliding low enough she was disappearing under the table. Kai grinned wide at the table cloth covering her. “Classy places are the fucking best.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you dooo---ing?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kai grasped at his hips, pulling them closer to the table so he slouched in the booth. Her fingers made quick work of the button to his cargo shorts, only now realizing what they were in the dim light. She pulled his shorts down enough to pull his cock out through his boxers, giving it a tentative lick while he did his best to keep composure with her under the booth table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>What the hell are you doing?”</span>
  </em>
  <span>he said with a hiss, anger dissipating as she swallowed him down and his cock hit the back of her throat. She mumbled her way through an answer, sending vibrations up through his shaft, and making him quiver under her touch. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Nevermind, you got it under control.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” He bit the side of his fist, waving nervously at his friends to stay away. With a shuffle of feet, Kai soon found she was inches away from one of his friends finding her under the table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey there York,” the slow drawl started. “Where did that cute girl go you were just with? Wash said he saw her just a minute ago. Did you scare her off already?” Kai dragged her tongue across the underside of his cock while he attempted to sit up with his friend so close. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sh-she went to the bathroom,” he lied, his hand coming under the table in an attempt to get her to stop. Instead he found her tongue all over his fingers, sucking them softly while she slowly worked her hand over his shaft. His friend’s shoes shuffled next to the table and she heard a laugh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, sure thing, York. It’s probably better she left so you don’t strike out with Carolina again like last time.” The shoes retreated back to the table on the other side of the booth partition, partly obscured by the fake plants between the two booths. Kai took him into her mouth as deep as she could go, swallowing around his cock and pulling back with a saliva trail back to her mouth. She gasped hard, grinning at the shudder that came down to his legs next to her. As she slipped her way back up onto the booth, her hands never leaving his body, she grinned wider. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha, you’re good at that lying thing,” she said with a grin, pressing her lips to the side of his neck while she slowly jacked him off under the table. “You sure you can’t head back to the bathroom with me?” The pained groan that escaped his mouth at her suggestion as he weighed the pros and cons of banging some random chick in a bar bathroom made her wet. “I know she wouldn’t let you do something like that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re right,” York kissed her once more, pulling his pants up and shaking his head. “This was fun, but I don’t think I can.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kai shrugged, grabbing the pen the bartender brought over with her card from the other side of the booth so she hadn’t noticed. She grabbed his arm, scrawling her name and linked in profile name onto his arm with a heart. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re cute, but hey, call me if you wanna fuck or something. ‘Kay?” She got up from the booth, grinning wide and blowing a kiss to the bartender before kissing the waitress who brought her drinks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>On her way out, a tall redhead sashayed her way in. Kai couldn’t help but notice those legs, and the peeks of more as she swayed with her skirt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lookin’ hot!” she called to the anonymous woman, heading toward the street so she could hail a taxi back to the shuttle garage. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you?” the red head replied, making her way over to the table York had rejoined once he straightened himself out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, funny thing,” York and Carolina said in unison. </span>
</p>
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